I got mixed up confusion Man, it's a-killin' me

"Eh, ah, if I said dat de lodgements were from my salary alone, I, eh, ah, hadnt intended to, eh, give de impression that de lodgements were, eh, from just my salary. If I said I didnt receive any, eh, sterling payments, I, eh, hadnt actually intended to give de impression dat I didnt receive any sterling at all. In fact, eh, ah, I had actually received some sterling from a friend in de nort, which, I, eh, ah, paid back yesterday, in fact, eh.

Paddys Day

Another paddys day is upon us. For those interested, Alcoholics Anonymous are holding their AGMs in pubs around the country today.


What with ireland facing a downturn in the economy, the irish times have published a guide on the art of thrift
http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/magazine/2008/0315/1205104777567.html

teaching an old dog new tricks?

keeping your head above water

in a few years time, when all the ice in the poles melt, ireland will be under water. i got into a time machine today to see what it will be like and it doesnt look too good. well, at least the spire is been put to good use as a lighthouse. i caught up with a senior fianna fail minister to get his reaction to this sea-change and the impact it will have on Irelands's economy:






"I see no cause for alarm. I completely disagree that we are under water. The papers are making a mountain out of a molehill. Our policies on tackling global warming have been successful and we will see them through to their completion in 2800. As we have said, Ireland will never go under water, at least not when we are in power...Now, where's my private boat...."

i talked to god on the telephone

does god talk to you? does mother mary pop in for a cuppa every now and then? a strange phenomenon happened to christina gallagher of achill island some time ago when our lady popped in for a chat one day. an even stranger thing happened sometime later when gallagher bought a few mansions in dublin....

Thor (the real God and the only God. ) visited me today in my teapot. he warned against the impending doom that will befall all humankind if they dont start following him (again). donations to the cause can be made into my bank account. (email for details).

those in doubt about who the real god is should consider this:

what a cool mutherfucker, right? and instead of sitting on his ass all day reading mail, Thor actually goes out and does stuff like sending large bolts of lightning up demon's arses. Any demons that get too close get their heads crushed by his sacred hammer. Let us give thanks and praise to Thor almighty.

May Thor go with you...

the name of the game

wanna be famous? wanna be someone? get this book, then. for those who havent finished reading it yet ill do a short summary of the main points:

1. be a cunt

2. be a cunt

3. whore yourself

4. get a stylist

5. get another stylist

6. any publicity is good publicity. so get your manager to phone

the editor of the star or the sun and strike up a deal.

7. nick as many songs as you can. loads of other talented and

talentless guys wanna make money off you too.

8. look like a plonker

9. be a cunt

10. whore yourself

proof going on a diet doesnt work

"dunno bout you guys, but the McDs here sure are tasty"